


And she means everything to me

by phasamtasie



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Green Arrow and the Canaries (TV)
Genre: Based on a dodie Song, F/F, Fluff, Laurel is lovesick, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:22:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22960096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phasamtasie/pseuds/phasamtasie
Summary: Sometimes Laurel wished Dinah was just pretty, but of course she wasn't, she was Dinah Drake after all. Police Captain at day and Black Canary at night, she had it all and she could do it all. So whenever Dinah came just a little too close, during one of their endless fights, Laurel felt the air get knocked out of her. Not because Dinah had taken a hit on her, but because she smelled like home.orLaurel thinking about how Dinah means everything to her, based on She by dodie
Relationships: Dinah Drake & Earth-2 Laurel Lance, Dinah Drake/Earth-2 Laurel Lance, Dinah Drake/Laurel Lance, DinahSiren - Relationship
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	And she means everything to me

_Am I allowed to look at her like that?_  
_Could it be wrong, when she's just so nice to look at?_

Even in their first fight Laurel had noticed just how pretty Dinah Drake, or Black Canary how she called her at the time, was. The way she moved so gracefully when fighting against Laurel, without being anything less than her equal. They hated each other and still, Laurel admired the other woman's body, because of course she could see that, objectively speaking, Dinah was hot. And while her face was hidden by the same black mask Laurel wore most of the time, she could see just how piercing her eyes were, when Dinah came close enough. When they fought her eyes had this fire, this anger against Laurel, for what she had done and the pain she had caused her. She knew she deserved it and still, she couldn't stop her mind from wondering if they would ever move on. If she could ever look at how pretty Dinah was, outside of a fight, because how could it be wrong when she was so pretty and captivating?

_She smells like lemongrass and sleep_  
_She tastes like apple juice and peach_  
_You would find her in a Polaroid picture_  
_And she means everything to me_

Sometimes Laurel wished Dinah was just pretty, but of course she wasn't, she was Dinah Drake after all. Police Captain at day and Black Canary at night, she had it all and she could do it all. So whenever Dinah came just a little too close, during one of their endless fights, Laurel felt the air get knocked out of her. Not because Dinah had taken a hit on her, but because she smelled like home. Every time, it overwhelmed her and for a split second she forgot they hated each other, forgot they were fighting. Since their first encounter Dinah had changed her shampoo, Laurel noticed, but her smell stayed the same. Sweet and soft, fresh and new, safe and enticing, all at the same time and so incredibly addictive to Laurel. She wanted to capture this, this feeling of home that Dinah gave her whenever she captured Laurel. Hold it close and never let it go, but the moments never lasted.

_I'd never tell_  
_No, I'd never say a word_  
_And oh it ache_  
_But it feels oddly good to hurt_

Not even in her faintest dream she would tell any of this to any living soul and least of all Dinah. To everyone else they hated each other, they were enemies, trying to kill each other at any given day. And she did, most of the time, she did hate Dinah or at least she convinced herself she did, because it was easier. Easier than admitting that she had stopped hating the other woman somewhere along the way. And even though she didn't hate her anymore, they still fought and seeing the hate and pain and anger in Dinah's eyes hurt. Dinah hates her and she knew she deserved it, all of it, for the things she did and the pain she caused Dinah. She broke her heart because that's what she was told to do and she had been too weak and too hurt to resist the order. She had looked into the eyes of the woman that felt more like home than anything in this world, where she was a stranger, and had broken her heart. So she deserved to live with the pain of fighting her when she didn't even hate her.

_She smells like lemongrass and sleep_  
_She tastes like apple juice and peach_  
_You would find her in a Polaroid picture_  
_And she means everything to me_

And because she didn't hate her, Laurel found herself searching for her home in the crowds of the city. Catching the faint smell of Dinah when she wasn't even there and driving herself crazy thinking they could ever be more than enemies. In those moments she went back to better days in her mind, days when she would sit with her sister or friends and take photos while laughing. She imagined capturing Dinah, everything that made her home and beautiful. Laurel had never seen the other woman laugh, because why would she laugh, when Laurel was around, and still Laurel found herself thinking of capturing her smile. Imagined how it would look to ses Dinah in the summer sun and distorted colors of a Polaroid. As much as she tried getting rid of these thoughts and hopes, because she knew they didn't matter and she had to hate her, she couldn't let go. Not when it was all she had that resembled home.

_And I'll be okay_  
_Admiring from afar_  
_Cause even when she's next to me_  
_We could not be more far apart_

So she didn't, she didn't let go and let herself dream whenever they fought and especially when they didn't. She took in all of Dinah, all of her smell and all of her beauty, her eyes, the way the sun reflected in her hair and the way she seemed to dance when fighting. And even though they were mere inches apart when Laurel got to see all this, she felt worlds away from the other woman. Because Dinah would never know how she felt about her, that she didn't hate her and didn't want to hurt her. They would always have this line between them, this line that separated them and put them on different sides of the story. But having Dinah allow her, to get into her personal space, even when it was just to fight, was all Laurel needed to function, to keep doing what they did. This play of Dinah trying to kill her, because she hated her and Laurel pretending to fight back, when really she had long surrendered to Dinah. A surrender the other didn't even see or notice because they still lived in different worlds even though they were on the same earth.

_Cause she tastes like birthday cake and story time and fall_  
_But to her  
I taste of nothing at all_

But the same earth didn't matter. Laurel felt so deeply for the woman, celebrated her and wanted to be around her, while she didn't see Laurel. She didn't see her as anything more than the monster that killed her love, the enemy that broke her heart. All of Laurel's hope of the future being different and hope of getting to see a different side of Dinah. They didn't matter when she couldn't take back what she had done, when the other didn't give her a chance to show she was more. Laurel didn't feel like she deserved a chance to explain herself and show she felt different now. So she didn't blame Dinah for not giving her one either. Instead she blamed the world for the pain she felt when her heart was broken every time they fought. When she had felt Dinah's kind of pain, she had taken it out on everyone, not just one person, but the world. So Dinah, fighting the one person who had hurt her, was already better than her.

_Cause she smells like lemongrass and sleep_  
_She tastes like apple juice and peach_  
_You would find her in a Polaroid picture_  
_And she means everything to me_  
_Yes, she means everything to me_  
_She means everything to me_

How could either of them really be better than the other though? They both had so much blood on their hands, blood from killing people they hated or they had thought deserved it. They had fought thinking they were the good guys, when really people had tricked them into thinking just that. They had lost themselves and lost friends trying to find a new purpose, after hurting deeper than any person ever should. And still they were there both trying to do the right thing now, failing, but still trying to. Side by side, just different ways, that happened to be crossing each other, that happened to make them enemies. Maybe if things were different they wouldn't be, maybe they would fight on the same side, working together and not against each other. But dreaming didn't help Laurel, it didn't help her pain and didn't help undo her wrongs, it just made real life more painful. And despite all this, what kept her on earth, on her path, kept her from giving up herself and losing her mind.  
Dinah Drake, who meant everything to her.

**Author's Note:**

> I might add more stories based on songs, because it's actually a challenge for me to find fitting things for all the lysrics of a song, so I enjoy writing song aus.  
> I actually wrote a dinahsiren story to Sick Of Losing Soulmates by accident as well, let me know if you would want to read it.


End file.
